What this is
I’m piloting a new series: Behind the Forbes — short video conversations that shape my upcoming Forbes pieces. This is the raw material before it becomes an article. If you like this format (or don’t!), tell me how to make it great for you.
Why watch (60 seconds to decide)
Why leaders are privately battling pandemic-level anxiety again — and what’s different this time. Executive coach Muriel Wilkins is seeing the same “shrillness” among senior leaders that marked March 2020. But the response has swung from radical empathy to rigid control. And that pendulum reveals we never learned the real lesson.
The seven unconscious beliefs blocking your progress (even “I know I’m right” can be a trap). From “I need to be involved” to “I don’t belong here,” hidden beliefs actively prevent leaders from seeing situations clearly, solving problems effectively, and advancing their careers.
How mindset shifts create more leverage than another productivity hack. It’s not about doing more or doing different. It’s about examining what you think about what you do: the beliefs hiding between your ears that either unlock your potential or quietly sabotage it.
This conversation isn’t about adding more to your plate. It’s about understanding what’s already there and why you put it there in the first place.
Key insights from our conversation
The real lesson we missed: When responses to the same situation swing from one extreme to another (empathy to control, collaboration to command), it signals the underlying mindset never shifted. We changed what we do without changing what we think.
Why “do different” isn’t enough: Doing the same thing and expecting different results is insanity. But doing different things with the same underlying beliefs? That’s just as unsustainable. It’s not in the doing; it’s in what you think about what you’re doing.
The frustration epidemic: Leaders at the most senior levels are battling anxiety and nervous energy at levels not seen since early 2020, but few are talking about it publicly. The temperature reading is high, and the shift from pandemic-era empathy to today’s control signals something deeper.
Range over rigidity: You don’t delete old beliefs; you expand them. The goal isn’t to eliminate what got you here, but to develop the range to adapt your mindset to challenges that never stop coming.
Success redefined: True success isn’t just about you achieving your goals. It’s recognizing you’re part of a collective human experience — not the starting point, not the endpoint — and asking how your success aligns with what you hope for the world.
The leadership mandate shift: Being a leader isn’t just about driving results anymore. It’s about being a steward for your own wellbeing, your team’s engagement, and your broader impact. Where’s the question mark when someone asks, “Why do I have to be the calm for myself?” It’s part of the mandate.
Culture is collective beliefs: Trying to change organizational culture without examining the assumptions leaders carry? That’s doing the work at the wrong level. Culture shifts when leadership mindsets shift first.
Timestamps & bite-size highlights
[01:27] Leaders’ post-pandemic anxiety: the empathy → control pendulum swing and what it signals
[02:27] The lesson we never learned about uncertainty (spoiler: it never went away)
[04:04] The hidden difference between responses then (empathy) and now (control). And why it matters
[05:37] Why “doing different” fails without changing your underlying mindset
[08:45] The seven unconscious beliefs that actively block leader progress (and how to spot them)
[13:00] “I got tired of being tired.” Muriel’s personal turning point and burnout wake-up call
[18:00] Mindset → outcomes: why beliefs beat tactics and skills every time
[24:00] The hidden cost of never saying no, and how to hold boundaries without burning relationships
[29:55] Why leaders resist doing the inner work: “Why do I have to be the calm for myself?”
[31:50] How narrow definitions of success cause leaders to sacrifice ME, WE, and WORLD
[32:39] Redefining success: You’re not here on your own! You’re part of a collective human experience
One-liners I loved
“A leader cannot transform an organization beyond their own capacity to transform themselves.”
“It’s not just what you do. It’s what you think about what you do.”
“Range over rigidity. You don’t delete old beliefs; you expand them.”
“The circumstances are exacerbating the uncertainty that’s always been there. Your response — that’s what I’m really feeling is different.”
“When I see responses shifting from one extreme to the other, what it tells me is that the lesson was never learned.”
“I stopped making it about me all the time.”
About Muriel & the book
Muriel M. Wilkins is the founder and CEO of Paravis Partners, an executive coach with a twenty-year track record of helping senior leaders level up, and host of Harvard Business Review’s top-ten podcast Coaching Real Leaders.
Her new book Leadership Unblocked: Break Through the Beliefs That Limit Your Potential (Harvard Business Review Press, October 28, 2025) has been named a Next Big Idea Club “Must Read” for October (curated by Adam Grant, Malcolm Gladwell, Susan Cain, and Dan Pink) and earned advance praise from Adam Grant, Frances Frei, Dorie Clark, and Michael Bungay Stanier. She was recently shortlisted for the 2025 Thinkers50 Coaching and Mentoring Award.
Get the book: Leadership Unblocked (Harvard Business Review Press)
Connect with Muriel: MurielWilkins.com | LinkedIn | Instagram: @CoachMurielWilkins
Listen: Coaching Real Leaders podcast
Coming soon → the Forbes piece
I’ll publish the full article drawn from this conversation on Forbes shortly. I’ll update this post with the link the moment it’s live — if you’re subscribed, you’ll get it.
Help me shape this series
This is a pilot. Your feedback literally shapes what comes next:
What length works for you? Too long? Too short? Just right?
Do the timestamps help? Would you prefer chapters/sections instead?
Who should I interview next for Behind the Forbes? What topics are you wrestling with?
Drop a comment or hit reply — I’m all ears!
If this was useful: Tap ♡, restack, or share with a leader who might be “doing more” but feeling less satisfied.
What hidden belief might be blocking you right now?
Hint: Muriel suggests it might be related to always being right, feeling constant urgency, questioning your belonging, needing to be essential, fearing mistakes, believing “if I can do it, so can you,” or never being able to say no. Any of those ring uncomfortably true? 👀
